Giving Up Is Not an Option: Part 8

So, I hate to break it to you all, but in my last post I lied.

10/9/19: I am writing this seconds after saving “Part 7” and secretly I know that I am pregnant. I say “secretly” because I am the ONLY one who knows. I took my first B-hcG test yesterday and it came back as a 45 (anything over 5 indicates pregnancy). I will be going back tomorrow morning to get my second B-hcG; as long as it doubles it will confirm my pregnancy. As I sit here writing this my husband does not know. He thinks my blood work is next week. Why am I keeping this from him? Because I want to tell him when it’s CONFIRMED. I want to ensure the numbers doubled and this is in fact a viable pregnancy. And, I want to surprise him. I can’t even believe this, I am freaking pregnant!

10/11/19: My B-HcG numbers came back at a 168, confirming my pregnancy. I rushed home after work and set up my announcement for Juan (see below).

With all the excitement we wanted to shout it from the rooftops, but we decided to wait. We wanted to wait until we were “safe.” We didn’t know when our “safe” time would be but we knew it wasn’t going to be too soon.

I know the main question is “Why did we decide to tell everyone our transfer was in January?” Well, Juan and I have been so strong in our faith through this all and decided that if this didn’t work we wanted to cope with it privately before letting others know. However, if it did work, we wanted to surprise them; like we always dreamed of doing. We knew being open about our fertility journey may be tough at times, but we also knew it would be completely worth it; and it has.

I quickly came up with the idea of telling our family and friends our scheduled transfer date would be in January. Juan was skeptical as to whether or not it would be believable. Due to a few hiccups with a procedure needing to be done (which did not affect transfer timeline) we were able to bend the truth, and told everyone that the procedure did affect the transfer timeline. When you see the fun baby announcements, and surprises it hard to not want that joy. We were always bummed we wouldn’t get that special moment so we decided, maybe we could have that special moment. So together we decided we would sneak away to Missouri in the beginning of October and not say anything. And man, I am so glad we did.

Keeping the secret was HARD! The evening I told Juan we were headed over to my parents an hour or so after on an unrelated note and it took everything in us not to tell them. This was on October 11th and we wouldn’t be telling any family until November 7th/8th. We were going to North Carolina for a week with all my immediate family and decided that would be the perfect time to tell them, and as soon as we got back we would tell Juan’s family. However, as Nov 6th quickly approached we decided to tell Juan’s family before we left.

Trying to hide being pregnant on a 12-hour car ride with your sister, brother in law and nephew while having all day morning sickness was TOUGH. And I even slipped once but thankfully no one caught on but Juan… My sister is also pregnant and due in January. Juan asked “when is your due date” to which I replied for her; June 20th (my due date) …I was able to quickly cover that up with January, June… same thing. OOPS!

After we returned from North Carolina, we began telling close friends and the rest of our family. And are now announcing to the rest of the amazing people in our lives, that we are in fact proof that miracles happen!

This has been one crazy roller coaster; physically and mentally. But boy, does it make it that much sweeter!

If you are going through fertility issues first I want to say sorry. Sorry because I know what another pregnancy announcement does to you. I know you long for this and I know how hard it can be, but gosh darn it, stay strong! I promise you this is not the end, and your time IS coming! Keep positive and keep picturing yourself holding that little one! Because I am proof, it will happen!

For all of you who prayed for us and gave us your unlimited support, THANK YOU! You were our rock through this all! We are beyond excited for this next chapter in our lives and can’t wait to meet our little girl, Savannah!

♥Dani & Juan


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